Is My Body OK? Am I Having Self-Esteem Issues?
I really like a girl in my freshman class, but her best friend says that she’s looking for a manly-man. The problem? I have a high-pitched voice, look like a baby, and have practically no muscles. I’ve been thinking about asking my doctor about puberty, but my grandma says I’m fine. Am I? Or am I just having self-esteem issues?
It’s always a good idea to chat with your doctor when you wonder about your body and how it is developing. Chances are your grandmother is right — you’re probably fine and it will just take a bit more time. But talking to your doctor will give you an opportunity to ask questions.
The reality is, developing muscles and the other stuff that goes with puberty happens for different guys at different times. Girls tend to go through puberty and develop before guys do, so that can make things seem even more confusing.
Here’s the thing, though: When it comes to attraction, most girls are interested in more than just looks. Girls like personality! They want a guy to have good qualities like kindness, smarts, a sense of humor, and being a good listener. We all want to spend our time with happy people who are fun to know!
It can help to do things that make you feel more confident about your body: eating well, getting exercise, and paying attention to personal grooming. Instead of focusing only on the physical stuff you’re dissatisfied with, give equal time to what’s good about your appearance. Notice the things that are attractive, like a great smile or your physical capabilities.
Thinking positive can help us project (and build) confidence. Build your self-esteem by feeling proud and accepting of your body. Then, gather your courage and talk to the girl you like. It could lead to a friendship or (who knows!) even more.
Reviewed by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: August 2014
*Names have been changed to protect user privacy.